loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
