At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
