please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
