The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
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