On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
