4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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