I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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