I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
