Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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