i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
