whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My balls are so social today.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
