9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
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