she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
