Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
