i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
