All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
