Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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