Cold hands, warm shart.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
