Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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