my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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