your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it hurts more in the daytime
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
