yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
