you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
