it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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