So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
