pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
