It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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