your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
