I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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