WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
