Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
