Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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