I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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