I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
