I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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