So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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