And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
