Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
