Whod you bang
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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