I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
We named our party play list daddy issues
Too much gin, very little bucket
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just want to make out with him forever
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
