Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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