she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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