Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
