this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
