Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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