do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
please come you make the beer taste better
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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