So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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