my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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