see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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