the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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