I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Green mimosas i think yes
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
