We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
True strength comes from lack of pants
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
