So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
