i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
